Kyuki-Do Martial Arts Sleepy Hollow - SKILLZ Licensed Child Development Center Sleepy Hollow Martial Arts and Licensed Child Development Canter for All Ages!

Empowering vs Enabling – The Fine Line of Parenting

Empowering vs Enabling – The Fine Line of Parenting

We live in a competitive world and most parents would jump at the chance to give their child every advantage imaginable. The world can also be unkind and, as parents, we feel a need to protect our children from everything possible. And yes, parents are supposed to help and protect their children but when does supporting children turn into overhelping? The difference between the two is a very fine line and is often very difficult to decipher.

Responsible parenting means proving food, clothing, and shelter, giving attention and love, and protecting our children from danger. It does not mean doing everything for them and protecting them from anything that may bring them grief. This type of parenting is excessive and can develop due to a parent’s fear, anxiety, or peer pressure from other parents. It can also be a way that parents overcompensate for the difficult childhood they experienced. Whatever the case, although the hyper-involvement comes from a place of love, it can actually hinder a child’s ability to achieve autonomy.

In child development terms, autonomy develops when children can function independently and have choices. Without this, they may experience what psychologist Erik Erikson called “shame and doubt.” This leads to decreased confidence and increased anxiety. And when parents make all the decisions and fix all the problems for their children, those children have underdeveloped coping and life skills. The goal should not be to raise dependent children but, instead, to raise resilient and confident ones.

In order for this to happen, parents must empower their children by teaching self-reliance. The goal is to raise children who are independent and stable on their own. For this to happen children must be allowed to make mistakes and learn to be resourceful in finding solutions to problems that present themselves. Parents can do this by supporting their children without completely removing themselves from the process. It is important for parents to be there for their children as a sounding board. This will help them develop healthy coping strategies and feel more confident in their decision making.

One way to do this is by letting children make mistakes in a safe environment. In the SKILLZ program, instructors utilize the classroom as a way to foster autonomy while teaching the skill of the day. By using Teaching SKILLZ such as “choices” and “intrinsic motivation,” instructors are providing opportunities for children to make their own decisions so they feel confident. And when a mistake is made, instructors use “re-direction” to get them back on track and try again.

The line between empowering and enabling is a very fine one. But as career and life coach Maura Koutoujian put it, “When a child is enabled, they miss out in the opportunity to cultivate intrinsic motivation – a critical component in developing accountability and self-confidence.” Although it’s hard for parents to see their children struggle, hurt and disappointment are a part of life and children need to develop ways to overcome those things on their own. Supportive parenting should always move children closer to independence and stability which will lead to resilient adults in the future.

Special thanks to the team at Skillz Worldwide!! Here at Kyuki-do Martial Arts of Sleepy Hollow we strive to bring our parents and their children the most current and relevant training practices available. As a licensed LIFE TIME GOLD MEMBER of Skillz Worldwide we are an authorized location of the internationally acclaimed SKILLZ Worldwide allowing us to provide your family with industry leading children and kids age specific Martial Arts programs. Meaning; we are able to share cutting early childhood development content supported by science as authored by Melody Johnson a martial arts industry proven leader and subject matter expert in age specific training for children, kids, and teens.


About our programs

(Ages 3-4) in Sleepy Hollow

Discover why parents love our Preschool Martial Arts classes in Sleepy Hollow. It's the perfect blend of gross motor skills, personal development, and character enrichment, and gives your little one an edge when they enter a busy school setting.

(Ages 5-6)in Sleepy Hollow

Parents here in Sleepy Hollow love our Early Elemenetary Chid Devleopement classes. We are using the Martial Arts to teach how your child learns. Early developement of vital life skills like focus, discipline, confidence, self-control get your child what they need, when they need it from our highly trained and Certifed Staff. Watch your child's confidence flourish and their grades improve with this awesome Child Development program.

Spectrum SKILLZ
(Ages 7-17)
in Sleepy Hollow

Parents LOVE our Spectrum SKILLZ classes in Sleepy Hollow because they're so much more than self defense. Our classes teach teen and kids important life skills that they'll use in school and beyond- and they'll have a blast along the way.

Kids Martial Arts
(Ages 7-12)
in Sleepy Hollow

Parents LOVE our Sleepy Hollow Kids Martial Arts program because it teaches not only self defense, but also vital life skills like focus, discipline, respect, and more! Watch your child's confidence flourish and their grades improve with this awesome Child Greatness program.

Teen Martial Arts
(Ages 14-18)
in Sleepy Hollow

Combining confidence-raising fitness and life-changing self defense, our Sleepy Hollow Teen Martial Arts program keeps your teen's wellness and happiness in mind. It's time to get your teenager active, making new friends and on a path to be the best verion of themselves.

Parents Martial Arts
in Sleepy Hollow

Our Sleepy Hollow Parents Martial Arts classes are the perfect activity for the whole family! Our family enriched setting allows kids and parents to traing side by sdie. We teach life-saving self defense in a FUN community setting with amazing, supportive instructors that will help you achieve your fitness and personal goals. It's a way of life for so many Sleepy Hollow families- make it yours, too!
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